...so i touched it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
