i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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