There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
