So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
