He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
