I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
