my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
time to smoke my breakfast
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
