She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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