ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
