why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
