hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
