Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
