Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
