I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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