Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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