Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
