You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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