talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
