So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
