Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
