Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
