I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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