She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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