So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
