Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
