I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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