I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
