Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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