Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
