Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
