Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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