pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
