He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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