It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You made out with two different species that night
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
