she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
