I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
