Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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