i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
