You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
