I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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