she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
