Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
