Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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