after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
