I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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