smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
