she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
