I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
