i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
