Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
