i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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