I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
