I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
