Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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