I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
